The Heist by Lonely Island
The Heist lyrics
Five o'clock in the mornin, I hear the phone ringing. Yo what up, Dunn?
What up, son? Sorry, were you sleepin?
Nah, just finished reading this I'll-ass novel
Not the one about the girl who left her family up in Kabul?
That's the one, that shit was sad, had me cryin on the pages
Yo I read that muthafucka, had me sad as fuck for ages
Yo, we should start a book club
Yo son I hear you talkin, how bout Sunday afternoons right after speed walkin?
That's a date, but I know that ain't the reason for your callin
No doubt, you're so observant, musta noticed I was stallin
Yo, best friends gotta tell each other their secrets
I just came from Pam's work, and she dipped my heart in shit
Yo what, that's Baskin Robbins
Yo yo, you know the spot: where you order frozen treats, and they rip your heart apart
Yo I got what you need at the house, you cool to drive?
I'm pretty broken up, I might not make it there alive
Don't talk like that, now you're makin me wanna cry
Yo it's cool son, I'm fine, I'll be over there in five
'Ey yo it's I'll when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold
'Ey yo it's I'll when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold
Yo son, your house looks beautiful, did you redecorate?
Nah kid, the French lighting really opens up the place
Well it feels so spacious
It's an optical illusion
You didn't knock down a wall?
Nah son, it's light diffusion
My girlfriend Pam and I were planning on doing some home remodeling
Yeah she borrowed all my copies of Better Homes and Gardening
Yo I mean ex-girlfriend, can't believe this shit is happening
Yo, have this cup of tea
Man you'll never see those magazines. This tea is delicious, what'd you say it was?
Chamomile, muthafucka
Is it caffeinated, cause?
Nah, I'm tryin to cut down
Me and Pam were gonna too. Thought we'd always be a couple, not the one but the two
No doubt son, even when I was in my abusive relationship
I would look to you and Pam and know that true love could exist
Yo for real guy, I never knew you felt like that
No doubt, Dunnie, I thought you were a perfect match
'Ey yo it's I'll when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold
'Ey yo it's I'll when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold, now my heart stay cold
Yo kid, this red wine's got me feelin fucked up
Watch out, Dunnie, you just knocked some right outta my cup
Oh fuck, that's my bad, it's all over your slacks
No doubt son, I'm soaked, from the front to the back
Oh shit, you're gettin naked!
Of course I am, bet. We gotta get these in the wash before the stain sets
Ah, fuck, man, you just get wine all over my vest
Yo take your shirt off quick, before it seeps down to your chest
Yo kid, we're both buck naked, are you uncomfortable?
Nah kid, we're two grown men, and we're both heterosexual
Word up, son
Hold on, yo did you just hear somethin?
Goddamn, it's fuckin Pam, she musta let herself in
What up Pam, how's it goin? What an awkward situation
Yo if you didn't know better, this might look incriminatin
Yo what wacky circumstances to lead all of this to happen
Yo, just like on fuckin Seinfeld, or Curb Your Enthusiasm
Those were both by Larry David
No doubt, Dunnie, that's true
Wait Pam, don't go, if you leave now we're through
Yo I'm sorry son, damn, what a tragic way to end
The important thing now is that we're naked and we're friends
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